Recap - The Burial

Mom left exactly two weeks ago and it's been a week after the visitation.  I am not sure if it's normal, I feel "lost" and "empty" after the visitation and service.  Even though it is kinda meaningless posting after Mom is gone, I know she still wants me to continue, at least for now.  Maybe one day, God will allow me to show you more about His love.    Maybe I'll stop one day without saying bye.  I'm just not sure. 

Dad is adapting.  I know he's trying hard.  We had dinner every night at mine except Tuesday when they (and Fian) joined Grandma for dinner at hers.  Please continue to pray for him as this is just the beginning.  Don't stop asking him about his feelings about Mom.  Men sometimes (actually all the time) have the tendency to put themselves in their own man cave, not showing any emotions and pretending they can tough things up.  I guess I am also a man after all but I am already better.  At least I'm writing it down to tell everyone, hahaha.  Grandma is still very sad but we were putting great effort just to keep her checked at all times.  Uncle Ed, Dad, Fian, us, even Carly would keep calling her until we can locate her (whether she's out having dim sum or out shopping or if she's with any of us, haha).  Keep it up, I'm sure Mom would do the same if she's still around.

Yesterday (20130117 Thursday) was Jonah's 2 year old birthday - Happy Birthday my sweet potato!  Can't believe time can fly this fast.  He's always the sweetest even though his "terrible 2" characteristics are picking up a little but I know he's gonna be a good boy.  A very good boy.  Dad and Fian spent the whole day with Gloria and the boys (no work and no school on Thursdays - for them only).  They had a blast I know.  Jake and Jonah will play a very important part in Dad's new life, I know.  Thanks J1 and J2!!!  

I remember Mom said she's kinda disappointed not being able to be back for Jonah's first year birthday last year (when she's stuck in HK receiving the treatment).  We were in the basement doing a FaceTime cake cutting with her on my phone.  There were many things happening around and I couldn't hear them well.  The connection wasn't the greatest either.  Being a patience-less person, I just kept wanting to hang up.  I even lost my temper a little.  It's hitting me big time now when I think back.  I'm so sorry Mom, I shouldn't have lost my temper on you again and again.  I really wasn't thinking enough.   I didn't know that was the only time you can celebrate with Jonah on his birthday, I'm so sorry.  Please forgive me. But I know you already did, I just know.  No worries, you will always be in our hearts every year in every celebrations of ours, I promise.

Back to Jonah's birthday celebration, we also went out for dinner together with Grandma for Jonah's favorite - shrimps!!!  This little guys had a dozen of shrimps all by himself!!!  Not those tiny ones but good medium size ones, my goodness.  He can eat.  It's all good.  We didn't mention too much about Mom until at the very end when Carly called, trying to locate Grandma (as she's not home, hahaha.  Told you we are checking up on her 24/7).  I don't think it's a good idea avoid talking about Mom but I guess at the back of our minds, we are not sure if it's good idea to bring back the tears.  I don't know, what do you think?

Let's get back to the last part of the Recap: Part 3...

The Burial - Thank God for the unexpected warm weather. After the final kiss and farewell, everyone was busy getting into their cars (either coming to the cemetery or leaving), going to washrooms, putting on their jackets, making phone calls, greeting each other, organizing, collecting ribbons, transporting flowers, wiping their tears, asking for directions, cleaning and packing up, etc.  It was just busy overall and  crowded with lots of different activities.  After saying bye to the boys (Cheryl) and Gloria.  I went back to my own car.  Fian joined Dad this time, so I was on my own going to the cemetery. 

Seeing so many things happening with so many busy people running around, my heart was the opposite.  It was very quiet and peaceful, nothing was happening in my car.  I even had time to see if my beacon was still functioning.  While waiting for the funeral crew, I looked up to the sky and I saw the sun!  "Sun, beautiful sun", one of my favorite song from Jonah's favorite TV show "Bubble Guppies" popped right up in my mind.  It came out right after the Service and was out the whole the during the burial.  I wasn't surprised though, Somehow, I knew God will provide (don't ask me why) and I was just enjoying the process the whole time.  

I was following Dad's car all along. I didn't pay attention to what's going on behind.  We were going really slow.  I was kinda hungry and getting impatient at a few points, hahaha.  When I arrived the cemetery, pull up, got off the car and looked back.  Then, I finally saw the "car dragon" behind us.  I'm so touched once again to see so many of you come all the way to the cemetery, staying outside in the middle of winter just to say goodbye to Mom.  I guess God allowed such warm weather with a purpose.  He's spoiling Mom one last time.  Honestly, I'm not surprised to see 500+ guests at the Service but I didn't expect to see 150+ family and friends at the cemetery!  Thank God again for the weather.  

It was so warm that the snow was all gone and the ground was kinda muddy and mushy.  But it didn't stop everyone from walking near Mom's spot.  We all gathered together with a short ceremony with prayers, passage, dedication of flowers and the burial itself.  I don't think it was longer than half an hour.

Jonah was very tired and was crying a little but he stopped when we started giving Mom flowers.  Jake was behaving very well the whole time, even though I know he was also hungry and tired.  He understands what's going on, I know.  Thanks for behaving so well the whole morning.  I'm so proud of you buddy.  It wasn't as emotional as I expected, it's all good.  The coffin dropped when we were trying to stay away.  It happened so fast that I couldn't even see - yes, I missed it.  But it's okay.  I know she's with Him at a better place.  We were only looking at her body which won't last forever.  Only her spirit will.  After the rundown, the workers started filling Mom's coffin.  Gloria and I went back to have a closer look at Mom's coffin one last time to make sure everything is good.  I prayed to God, "God, she's is all yours.  Please take good care of her for us.  Love you guys."

A few of the Aunties (Fu Auntie is one of them) didn't want to leave.  I know they know her before I was even born.  They know her before Mom even met Dad.  I don't have to say thanks to them.  They probably want to say thank to me, as they took Mom as theirs, I know (XOXO).  It must be hard for them.  Please keep praying for everyone who's in grief cuz' of Mom.  Pray that everyone of us can share the peace, the hope, the faith and the love from the same God.  

Grandma didn't come with us and headed to Wasabi with Jovy and Biu Yee.  We took a big part of the place and I know Wasabi had to give us more table just to fit our crowd - Mommy bestest family and friends.  Thanks to the Caring Team aunties by asking each one of them if they were planning to join our lunch, so they can make arrangements in advance.

Even though it was a short lunch having not much time to eat, I ate quite a lot, especially one the ice cream part.  When people were saying bye, a lot of them said, they cried and laughed at the same time - it's all good.  Pastor Johnny said he totally understands what I mean by a little more than Salt and Light when I talked about Mom, hahaha.  Yup, that's right, she's sometimes Spicy and Heat, hahaha.  The atmosphere was light and everyone had a great time catching up.  Thanks all for coming!!!

The Caring Team was amazing, they even checked each table to make sure if they belong to our group, hahaha.  Dad was so smart asking me to prepare a little more cash for our lunch and it was right on, too.  I think he is really picking up Mom's stuff quick.

I went back with Fian after lunch and this is what we saw...

Yes, we saw a mountain of fresh flowers all over Mom's place.  Thank God that it's just across from my house, so I can come say hi every day.  It's getting much colder already.  I guess the spoil is over.  "Let's have a fresh start" is on my mind with tons of positive energy - even though I know there'll be times that I would miss her and cry for a bit, it's all good and I'm excited to see what's ahead and what God has planned for us.  Nothing on earth will last forever, but His love is everlasting.  As long as we fear Him, this everlasting love will be with us, not just with us but will also with our children's children...

As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ The life of mortals is like grass,
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
    and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children (Psalm 103:13-17)

父親怎樣憐恤他的兒女、耶和華也怎樣憐恤敬畏衪的人。因為祂知道我們的本體、思念我們不過是塵土。至於世人、他的年日如草一樣。他們發旺如野地的花。經風一吹、便歸無有。他的原處、也不再認識他。但耶和華的慈愛、歸於敬畏祂的人、從亙古到永遠。祂的公義、也歸於子子孫孫。(

詩篇 103:13-17)