Half a Year

It's been half a year since Mom left.  Yes, it's already half a year.  Whenever I think of her, I still feel like she's around.  It's still so very real to me.  I am not crazy but maybe she's just the one who has the closest relationship with me since I was a baby.  All her nagging voices are still around my ears, all her smells are floating near my nose.  I can almost sense the skin of her hands.  I don't want to cry all the time but it's hard not to when I miss her, well not cry but tears maybe, haha.

Speaking about crying, I think I am considered one of the guys who cries more than normal and now I'm even worse, hahaha.  Whenever I have issues with Jake (yes, I never had issues with Jonah), I thought of Mom.  I thought of how hard it must be on her teaching me.  Cuz' it's really hard sometimes not to lose all your patient and get mad on Jake when he's misbehaving.  Yet at the same time, actually, maybe after I calmed down, I would feel very bad being so strict on him.  And then, I thought of Mom and started crying cuz' I know how much I love Jake and how heart breaking to be disappointed...which also means how much Mom loves me and how many times her heart broke cuz' of my misbehavior.   

My throat is hurting when I'm typing now cuz' I yelled at Jake the night before.  He just did a few bad things in a very short period of time.  From warning him nicely, to losing my cool yelling my lungs out and leaving him naked in the dark was just exhausting.  Not just physically exhausting but it's also emotionally too.  I love him so much but somehow he just didn't listen.  To me, I feel like he's ignoring me or worse, he chose not to listen and did the opposite.  He is scared of me when I raise my voice.  And I know he didn't like it and that's why he said sorry right away.  I'm just too mad not to do a thing.  Time out is something good for him and also for myself, just so I can cool myself down a little.  I'm sorry Jakie, Daddy doesn't know what's the best way to guide you and teach you and the worst thing is that Daddy's emotional control is almost zero.  But I won't give up cuz' no one is perfect to begin with.  I still love you very very much.  Please try not just remember me yelling at you and "punishing" you but remember how much fun we can play together and how much I love you.  

I actually got sick a few days after (and I'm still recovering now).  Probably yelling at Jake wasn't the cause but I'm really sick, hahaha.  But yeah, it's challenging - very challenging.

Things go back to normal after our three weeks vacation.  We started enjoying our summer in no time.  Trying not to over spend, we planned to get one season pass a year at one place.  For example, we have bought the season pass for Wonderland this summer and next summer we may get the one for the Toronto Zoo and then Science Center next and so on.  So, in order to make full use of our season pass, we have been going almost every week, hahaha!!!  Jake and Jonah went once last year and they loved it.  Last year, we spent the morning doing all the rides and had lunch there before making them to nap.  After 2+ hours, we woke them up to start playing water before leaving for dinner.  Having the season pass, it's never the same, haha.  We've been there maybe four/five times but each time we only spent less than half a day!!!  Sometimes, it's a spontaneous visit after dinner for funnel cake; sometimes, it's a morning weekday visit with only Gloria; we've also tried going on a busy Saturday for a few hours.  Regardless how many times we go, the boys never want to leave, hahaha.  Now that the summer really starts this week (no more summer camps for both of them), I'm sure we'll go even more on Thursdays and Fridays in this coming month or two.  Too bad I'm sick this week, or we would have gone more, haha.

We're going camping this weekend and I'm so very excited about it as this is our first time going in 10 years!!!  Last time, Gloria and I brought Pinky and Siuba (our two JRs) and this year, we are bringing Jake and Jonah (our two sons who are somehow related to Pinky and Siuba, hahaha).  Yes, Jake can be as hyper as Pinky and Jonah can be as good as Siuba yet sneaky sometimes, hahaha.  I'm not sure how things will go and I can't guarantee not to come back in the middle if something happens, hahaha.  One thing I'm sure is that we will bring our whole house, hahaha.  Sorry Dad, you'll have to be on your own this time.  Feel free to give him a shout!!!

We don't normally talk about Mom all the time.  But once in a while Dad would say something like, "Mah Mah doesn't have the chance to spend a lot of time with you Jonah, she only get to spend a bit time with your brother."  That broke my heart a little when I heard that.  I know we all want to spend unlimited time with our family but there's time for everything according to the bible.  Jonah loves Yeh Yeh so much that he loves to just hang out with him, to do nothing.  He's always our sweetest potato.

Jake is more possible in a way.  He is so talkative that he just doesn't stop.  Trust me, he can talk 24/7.  Last night, he said something about playing soccer and he said he wanted to kick the ball so high up to the sky and through the clouds and see if God can catch it.  He even asked if Mah Mah is a good goalie, haha.  Gloria and I smiled at each other and I told him, "Mah Mah is not very good in sports (other than maybe dancing) but yes, you can try and see if you can score a few goals on Mah Mah."  He was very excited and even showed us some kicks on his bed in his PJs, hahaha.

Pray that we'll have lots of fun in camping and that I'm all better too.  Mom, we all miss you lots...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

"凡事都有定期，天下萬務都有定時。 生有時，死有時。栽種有時，拔出所栽種的也有時。 殺戮有時，醫治有時。拆毀有時，建造有時。 哭有時，笑有時。哀慟有時，跳舞有時。 拋擲石頭有時，堆聚石頭有時。懷抱有時，不懷抱有時。 尋找有時，失落有時。保守有時，捨棄有時。 撕裂有時，縫補有時。靜默有時，言語有時。喜愛有時，恨惡有時。爭戰有時，和好有時。" (傳道書 3:1-8)

Vancouver Week Three - Featuring Seattle

Gloria and I had a chance to go through some old videos of Jake a few nights ago when he was about one year old.  Fian was holding him and he was looking at Mom trying to follow her instructions doing this and that.  He was such a funny boy, love being silly all the time.  Even now (at the age of 4), that's like one of his biggest motto - being the Joker!!!  In that video, Mom still looked very healthy, a bit chubby, laughing so hard, enjoying her precious time with her first ever grandson.  Thank God for giving me Gloria and giving me the chance to be a father early enough in such a way that Mom had some fun time with him (and Jonah later).


I would have to admit that I have asked God this question, many times, "Why do you take her away this soon?".  I wasn't in doubt and I wasn't losing my faith.  I was just trying to understand.  The answer is, there won't be an answer - only He knows.  Basically, if I really understand all the reasoning behind His plans, I wouldn't need Him in the first place, haha.  Why do I want to know anyways?  Trust and Obey comes back big time and here I am, learning everyday while enjoying all His blessings.  It's not easy, it's quite hard indeed, but I'm sure this won't be the toughest thing I need to bear and if this is the toughest thing in my life, my life is easy - another blessing!!!  It's all good regardless, hehehe.

Family is always my top priority, having Gloria in the front following with Jake and Jonah.  That's right husbands, never put your kids ahead of your wife.  "Happy wife, happy life" is always true, of course, it only applies to smart husbands, haha.  Before I'm married, Mom, Dad and Fian are always on my top.  But Mom taught me so much including, how to put my future wife Gloria in front of them  once I'm married as she would become part of my own family.  That doesn't meant that the love between Mom and I is any less.  It's just that I'm branching out with my own umbrella with Gloria underneath (and now Jake and Jonah).  It's a lot more responsibilities than being just the son.   Again, it's not easy but it's a work in progress always.  It won't be done after a snap of your fingers.  No husband is perfect and no father is perfect at birth.  Same applies to wives and moms, we all need to keep learning.  Just one thing, it's better to do it SOONER than later - that's for sure.  Just one little example, if you can't "control" your kids today, don't expect you can tomorrow.  I'm not trying to scare you, but things will only get "worse" as they grow more and more independent, more mature with more of their own thoughts and preferences.  Talk to people around you who has the experience, I'm sure they would all agree with me.  So yeah, start now!!!

Travelling as a family is always fun, no matter where we go.  From closer road trips to around the world HK trips and from camping with no electricity to fancy Hawaii/Macau 6-Stars resort, it's always a blessing spending time with family.  After our two weeks HK trip, we decided to have a stop over at Vancouver, a city just happened to be on the other side of Canada.  My 4 Gu Jeh, 5 Gu Jeh (both are Daddy's younger sisters) and my baby cousin Rebekah and her family are there for the longest time.  Whenever I get a chance, I would stop over there for a few days, including attending Rebekah's wedding and business trips a few years back.  I'm pretty familiar in Vancouver but not Gloria and of course, the boys have never been.  The most exciting thing is that Rebekah also have boys, not just two but THREE, two years old, five years old and seven years old.  So adding Jake and Jonah, we have five boys from the age of 2 to 7!!!  Just imagine how NOISY we are, hahaha but I have to say, they all are very well behaved boys with proper parents, hahaha.  In general, they are very well under control.  The only crying moments we had was when we had to say bye, hehehe - Gavin, we miss you too!!!

We rented a minivan there.  This is also one of the reasons why we brought our two car seats.  We were so excited once we got it - cuz' Gloria and I seriously started to like minivans!!!  That's right, we used to hate our parents' minivans and we both had to drive their when we first got our driver's licenses, hahaha.  But somehow, as I said on Facebook, this big and boring machines became spacious and fun, especially when you know the boys (all five of them) are enjoying every bit of it, hahaha.  Once our Venza is up, we would probably consider one, next year, hahaha.  Gloria and I were also very excited once we arrived Vancouver cuz' it again makes us feel like having vacation again.  Once again, Hong Kong is just not a vacation to us, hahaha.   We can at most call it, "home going", hahaha.

Thank God that Rebekah was scheduled to be off that week of the year.  That's right, we didn't know we were that lucky when we first booked the flights - it's God's plan for sure.  So we got to stay at hers the whole week.  THANKS FOR HAVING US AGAIN!!!  We started off with a two day road trip to Seattle to the Great Wolf Lodge.  Having a road trip right off the bat is perfect for adjusting jet lag, especially for the boys (and Gloria). Being the energizer bunny (still), I had to handle the wheel while they are "pigging", haha.  It's always nice to know when both Jake and Jonah are sleep somehow.  It's just so peaceful and I just can't stop looking at their sleepy chubby face and juicy lips.  They are so cute and so quiet and that made me wanna join once in a while but of course, I have my own ways to keep myself up, haha.  Not sure if you are using the same tricks, here are mine, hahaha:
1.  Pinch my inner thigh;
2.  Bite my tongue; and 
3.  Make super silly face such that I can scare the next driver on the road, hahaha.

We also get to drive around and explore around the whole Vancouver from North Vancouver Suspension Bridge, Stanley Park, Downtown, Gas Town, China Town, Granville Island and Richmond to Coquitlam.  We even drove by my company office in Vancouver, haha.  Even though we didn't have enough time to really enjoy each stops but Gloria and I had lots of fun hopping in and out while the kids are napping in the car, hahaha.  We just love driving around to explore in general, like in France, Italy, Hong Kong and Vancouver.  I guess I just love to drive.  I think buying a minivan is even a better option, instead of leasing now, hahaha.  

My highlight was how Gavin cried when he found out that we were about to leave, hehehe.  He's so sweet, hehe.  Gavin, I miss you too, hehehe.  I promise that we'll be seeing each other again soon.  If God permits, we will see you in Mexico next year, hehehe?  Speaking about travelling again, Mom loves to travel as you all know.  She not only just like to travel, she loves to travel but not alone or just with Dad, she loves to travel with EVERYONE, especially seniors who's 70+!!!  That's right, even if you are as senior as my Grandma (90+), as long as you trust her, she would just prepare a package for you.  All we need to do is to pay and pack!  She's very organized and very convincing (and very good bargaining).  Sometimes she just gets whatever she wants so easily without even needed to bargain.  She bought this travelling time share similar package for my family I know just before she went back to HK that time.  No one knows that her sickness was that serious at that time.  Now that she's gone, I'll be the prime user as you know Dad wouldn't touch it for sure.  Dad is just not that type, but he had to go to all these trips with Mom all these years, hahaha.  It's actually hard work, haha.  I'm sure Mom could feel it Dad, hehehe.  Good job!!!

Family is the greatest gift from God to me and I'll for sure treasure every bit of it.  Enjoy everything, including even fights, hehehe.

"How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unit!  It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down on the collar of his robe.  It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.  For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore." (Psalm 133:1-3)

"

看哪！弟兄和睦共處，是多麼的善，多麼的美。這好比那珍貴的油澆在亞倫的頭上，流到鬍鬚，又從亞倫的鬍鬚，流到他的衣領上。又好比黑門的甘露落在錫安的眾山上，在那裡有耶和華命定的福，就是永遠的生命。"  (诗篇 133:1-3)