Recap - Funeral Service

As I said in my thank you speech, there are a few reasons for me to cry.  Let's see if you understand what I mean.  Here is Part 2.  

20130112 Saturday - To the rest of the world, it's just an unusual warm day in the middle of winter.  To us (including a lot of you), today is my Mom's funeral service day or our last day to be able to see her physically.

The Ng's and the Law's gathered together at church just before 8am.  Fian and I got up early enough to even have time for a coffee beforehand.  Our moods were still light.  I told her I didn't sleep much but she slept well, haha.  It's so warm that I didn't need my coat, just with my suit jacket.

The funeral home crew (in three vehicles - the leading escort, the coffin wagon and a cube van for transporting flowers) came with Mom right at the dot (8am).  Two of the pall bearers Tyler and Derek (we purposely spared the other four as they all have kids/babies - thanks Wilson, Nelson, Raymond, Vincent), Dad, Uncle Ed, Curt and myself carried Mom to the church's sanctuary.  

Of course, I have the honor to carry her picture.  That picture was taken in 1998. It's a photo package prize I won from an inter-university singing contest (told you I can sing, haha).  It's her favorite picture we know.  She used to put it right by the stairwell in our house on Springbrook so no one would miss, haha.  Sure she is always pretty, not just this picture and she will always be my pretty Mom.

The funeral home staffs transported all Mom's flowers to church overnight after the Visitation, so the set up was quick.  We were able to spend some time for coffee, taking pictures and going over some details of the rundown before guests arrived, including something like where to sit, who to say a word first, where to stand when, when we can have washroom breaks, the flow of the guests during farewell, who to keep an eye on Grandma at different times, etc.  The music of the slideshow still having some distortions somehow but our AV help Uncle Simon and Roy fixed it for me, thanks!  I also told Uncle Ed to keep a special eye on Grandma at the two most emotional parts: closing coffin at church and dropping it down at the cemetery.  Honest with you, my tears started coming the first time when Fian told me about these two emotional parts (Thanks to Rev. Wong's experience).  But I guess I have been picturing them and trying to warn others about it.  I'm actually ok that day.

A lot of helpers started to arrive later and again, I didn't get a chance to look at my watch the whole morning.  Just like last night, it went by pretty quick.  One of my Dad's friend who has been following this blog asked if I'm a writer.  I said no, I'm just a "water blower", haha.  We all had a good laugh.  Our mood was still light at that point.

I got a lot of compliments about this blog and honestly, I rather not to have them because I prefer seeing my healthy Mom instead if I have a choice.  I'm not questioning God's plan but I just don't want to take any credits.  It's really my honor to be able to do something for Mom and Dad.  Actually, it's a great way to express my feelings through this blog as I'm one of those who needs to express my feelings and thoughts (I always describe it as my fart, something you need to let it out, hahaha).  Also, it's informative enough for everyone who cares about Mom and wants to know her updates.  At first, I really was trying to avoid repeating myself numerous time when receiving phone calls, emails, messages asking about Mom.  So, credits only on Him.  He created us after all, including me.  Btw, a few of you was wondering where I can find time to write all these things on a blog with pictures and videos, etc.  My answer is "technology" once again.  Blogger has this app I can use on my phone so I can keep dropping things down anytime before I forget.  I can upload pictures and videos I took (also from my phone) all at the same time.  I may need to formalize my words a little before I publish it but it doesn't take long, maybe half an hour?  God is good always.

Guests started to arrive just before 10am.  At first Dad and I were greeting them in the foyer but Fian brought us back in to stay with Mom as ppl would come say hi anyways.  When I went back in, I saw this line up all the way from Mom's coffin to the end of the aisle and it was not even 9:30am (I'm just guessing this time).  It was quiet, peaceful, serious, proper and warm.  Here is the rundown if you missed the Service:

We sat on the front row in order: Dad, myself, Gloira and the boys (Cheryl), Fian, Grandma, Uncle Ed and Auntie Tiana with Dad the closest to Mom.  We have Carly, Tyler, Derek, Jenny (Derek's girlfriend), Curt and 4 Gu Jeh on the second row.  Rev. Wong is the master of the ceremony, Auntie Addie is our pianist, Uncle Alex helped with the video and Uncle Alfred on cameras.  They are the best.  I don't remember if we started on time but I know there was a lot of ppl.  Francis, the funeral home in charge, asked us to have a washroom break just before it starts but I didn't go as I want to fully enjoy everything and didn't want to leave. 

I wasn't too familiar with the first hymn "耶和華是愛", so I could still keep my cool.  Gloria kept checking on me the whole time and she gave me her hand at the chorus, but I was okay (thanks B).  The Service went on, with prayers, passages, a few words by Rev. Wong and even when the Special Choir (formed by Caring Team just for this ceremony) were singing "恩典之路", I was still holding up alright.  Thanks Auntie Katherine for helping and so happened, it's her birthday today (happy birthday).  I started crying singing the second hymn "誰曾應許" because it reminds me of the sharing of Mom back in October in the Caring Ministry Retreat.  Per Mom's request, our four generations presented this song after her sharing together (I'll try posting it later).  Her smile, her voice, her gestures, even her smell just all of a sudden embraced me completely.  It was so real that it felt like she was still around - but she's not.  When I looked up, I only saw her resting peacefully in front of me.  I miss her so much...and I never get to sing that song at all cuz' I just couldn't.  Yes, this is one of the reasons to cry...

Then, it was Dad's eulogy.  Originally, he wasn't sure if he could do it himself but he was courageous.  He insisted to do it himself.  After drafting and modifying it a few times, he came up with that all by himself.  Fian, Gloria and I all agreed that it's the best for Dad to do it himself.  He practiced it at home many times, we know.  It was a good job well done.  I'm so proud of you, Dad!!!  It wasn't too emotional until the very end which is also my favorite part: 

Before going to bed when we were still in Springbrook,

Mom: Stanley, set alarm...

Dad: ... ... ...

He then climbed up onto the bed and gave Mom a kiss.

Mom puzzled and pushed him away: What are you doing?

Dad: You said, "鍚一啖" no?

This is another reason to cry - seeing how much love Mom and Dad have and how much Dad misses her.  He ended the eulogy with a song and a kiss to Mom.  We still couldn't find out what song is that, "Longing to hold you, longing to kiss you...beginning to miss you...".  This is the same song he kept singing to Mom when Mom said not sure what he was singing (cuz' he was crying).  According to Dad, it's from a movie with Anne Margaret and Elvis Presley.  It's also from a song book called, "The Hit Song" back in the old days.  If you can find it, please let me know!!!  (Uncle Nelson, can you help?)

The remembrance was separated into two parts: first by the Ng's presented by Tyler (representing the kids), Auntie Tiana and Uncle Ed, then the Law's by myself.  Being an retired army and a future lawyer, Tyler held his composure very well.  It was very formal and professional.  It made the other speeches kinda "local" and casual, hahaha.  Here is his speech if you are interested.  It felt so much shorter hearing than reading, I have to say, hahaha.  Good job guys!  Following Tyler's, it was Auntie Tiana's cooking lessons cassette tapes and Uncle Ed's fam jam speeches.  Tyler is probably the only one who didn't cry this part (but I know he's having a hard time holding it, hahaha).

Rev. Wong then took the stage and almost missed me, hahaha.  Of course, he's smooth enough to cover it back nicely!  I'll translate my part in English later for whoever missed it, maybe even a video when Uncle Alex is ready.  As I said, it's probably too much if I'm to talk about Mom.  So mine was more like a thank you speech.  I took Gloria and Fian with me the whole time.  Fian finally broke her tears.  It's actually the first time I saw her cry since Mom's passing.  The boys were not bad at the beginning but Cheryl needed to take them out in the second half, hahaha.  Here is what I have on my phone, hahaha.  Good luck if you want to try understanding it (yes, that's my way talking in public - I won't follow scripts, hahaha):

I saw people cry and I saw people smile.  I heard people laugh and I also heard people blow their noses.  I can feel the joy overall knowing that we have fought the good fight and we have walked the good faith through Mom's sickness as a family.  We have shown everyone that our bond and love are strong and we want to keep living a life of testimony.  Yes, I cried a few times and this is the second time I cried in front of a crowd.  The first time was at my wedding.  The remembrance ended with the Slideshow and I hope you like it.  (Sorry, the quality isn't the best somehow when I uploaded it.)  

Echoing with my speech, we followed with the song "Thanks to God" or "感謝神".  We really really need to thank Him, without Him, we can't be this strong.  Without His love, we can't have this much hope even at this difficult time.  He's good always.  After Francis's instruction regarding the Burial part and Rev. Wong's benediction, it was the final part - Fairwell.  It's also our last goodbye to Mom.  

The third reason to cry was because of you - because I'm very touched seeing so many ppl show up, feeling so much love and care from each one of you.  I don't know how many thank you I want to say - it's never enough, I know.  I saw you, you and you.  I shook many hands.  I hugged many of you.  I cried many times but it didn't feel long at all after ~500 hand shakes and shoulder leans.  I'm sure Dad, Gloria, Fian, Uncle Ed, Auntie Tiana and 4 Gu Jeh can share the same feeling.  Thanks Carly and Derek for "body guarding" Grandma the whole time.  I kissed Mom the last time in this life time but I know this is not the end because of Him.  Because He died for us, just to save us.  For sure, our lives won't be the same without Mom, our love will only be sweeter and our bond will only be stronger.

Mom, I love you always...

Sorry, I lied.  There'll be Part 3.

⁶ For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. ⁷ I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ⁸ Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness,which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:6-8)