20130109 Wednesday - Happy Birthday Audrey and Jared! Ray Ray and Jolie. Thanks for moving the party cuz of Mom's service. And sorry that I'm busy this time. Another promise - next time.
No work for me today in the morning as we have a meeting with the cemetery. I saw Dad and Fian walking towards the entrance when I arrived (we parked at the opposite sides). That's how my family is paired usually. Mom always hold me while dad is holding Fian, even our passports work like that too when we were young. For a split of a second, I thought Mom was beside me. I guess it's a reminder from God that she's not with us anymore but we big three - Dad, Fian and I (plus the small three - Gloria, J1 and J2) will be fine.
It was a short meeting as Mom and Dad already planned everything more than 10 years ago. Yup, they even paid for everything, except the gravestone that Mom purposely left to Fian and I according to Dad. The cost of the burial lots now is around three times more. Fian asked if we should start planning, haha. The cemetery representative was a Chinese Christian who also loves to travel too, just like Mom! He kept saying that he regrets meeting us a bit too late. Yes, a lot of us, especially elderly, will miss cruises with Mom for sure. I had a little plan of joining her one day with the boys when they get older. Yes, it's disappointing but God has His plan and it's always the best for us. We may not understand at this point but as long as we keep walking with Him closely, we'll figure out sooner or later.
After lunch, we stayed at Dad's place finalizing all Mom's stuff the funeral home required. She does have a lot of clothes, hand bags, accessories, sunglasses, shoes, yes especially shoes!!! Fian is gonna be busy after the funeral, haha. Whoever doesn't mind and would like to make use of Mom's stuff, please feel free to let us know. Or if you want to keep one or two items of hers to remember her, also let us know. The rest of the items will all be donated to those non-profit associations for people need them more.
I went back to work for a little and Dad and Fian went drop of Mom's stuff at the funeral home. We had dinner together at mine once again. Thanks Gloria for setting up a new communications default - assuming Dad will have dinner with us from now on unless he notifies us in advance. It's a small thing but it means a lot to Dad and myself, thanks B.
Jake skipped his nap at school so he fell asleep in the middle of dinner, haha. We purposely leave Dad and Jonah home so they can spend some time together as they will spend a lot more time with each other from now on. Fian, Gloria and I went to Costco to pick up the pictures collages we prepared the night before. That's right, since Mom just has too many pictures, one PowerPoint is not enough. Knowing that a lot of our family and friend, including Mom, are more traditional who prefer hard copies, we did two collages, hehe. Once again, we can make 20 of them easy. We had fun selecting pictures anyways!
Dad has his stubborn time, he insisted to bring the two collages to PMH after dinner. He wanted to show to the nurses how pretty Mom is when she's not sick. Fian questioned him and tried to persuade him not to. I guess we may not know how much Dad and the nursing team had gone through. I know Fian is trying to be sensitive trying not to give the nurses pressure and attachments as Mom may just be one of their many patients. On the other hand, if it can make Dad feel better, I'll let him do it. Dad came back with a big smile telling us that Natalie (one of his favorite) even cried. They all think that Mom is pretty - that, I won't have a doubt, hehehe (just simply look at me, hahaha). God is good always, thank you.
20130110 Thursday - Gloria and the boys had BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this morning. I didn't go to work but I had to finish my timesheet. Too bad the connection didn't work so I never get to finish. Grandma, Uncle Ed and Auntie Tiana, Carly, Dad and Fian, plus the four of us went dim sum in Scarborough. We were thinking how to explain to the boys about Mom as we already told them that she's left and she's now in Heaven with Jesus. However, they will see her body during both visitation and service. It was very interesting and our solution - Statue.
Grandma was still very sad. She has been having really late lunches these days. I guess she's not sleeping well, and that's why she's getting up late having late breakfast. We tried to make Dad call her every morning to check on her. Every time when we call at lunch time and asked if she has eaten, the answers were always, "Not yet. I'm not hungry." Please pray for her. Fian described her as a losing air balloon. I know she can't see my blog but let's all keep "pumping" her back up during this super difficult time of hers. She even said she wanted to stay home and not going to both visitation and service. Poor Grandma, please stay strong and don't let us worry. Without you, there won't be Mom. Without you, there won't be us.
Gloria spent sometime talking to her in the afternoon while the boys were sleeping at home (with Cheryl). I think she needs to talk things out and share her feelings to other just to make her feel better. Fian went shopping. That's right, she went shopping on her own as she didn't have enough time to prepare her outfit for the funeral. I think she is gonna use some of Mom's clothes, hahaha. Dad and I went to church to finalize the program for service on Saturday. Thanks Rev. Wong and Auntie Shirley for your help. Rev. Wong asked if I want to say something. Being like Mom, public speaking is always a piece of cake for us but this time, I had to think twice. I'm scared this time. The last time I was nervous speaking in front of a big crowd was when I got married. But I guess I need to, maybe just a short one. So, I spent some time thinking about what to say, as I normally don't. Pray that I won't cry too much on Saturday.
Dad was invited to share in a Caring Ministry gathering in the evening. Thank to the Caring Team for preparing such a sweet video clip for us about Mom. It was really really sweet. He invited him to say a few words in the event. He didn't prepare much but he ended up speaking for almost 20mins, hahaha. I know he felt so much better afterwards. I guess the more he shares, the better he feels. Keep it up Dad - good job.
Before going out for dinner with Fian and Grandma, Gloria and I had a chance to bring the boys out for a little skate as the weather was a bit warmer. Since Jonah is too young, we watched them skate from the side. Mom is never sporty and we never got a chance to do things like that. Jake and Jonah are more lucky, thank God! It was such a nice scene.
Dad has his stubborn time, he insisted to bring the two collages to PMH after dinner. He wanted to show to the nurses how pretty Mom is when she's not sick. Fian questioned him and tried to persuade him not to. I guess we may not know how much Dad and the nursing team had gone through. I know Fian is trying to be sensitive trying not to give the nurses pressure and attachments as Mom may just be one of their many patients. On the other hand, if it can make Dad feel better, I'll let him do it. Dad came back with a big smile telling us that Natalie (one of his favorite) even cried. They all think that Mom is pretty - that, I won't have a doubt, hehehe (just simply look at me, hahaha). God is good always, thank you.
20130110 Thursday - Gloria and the boys had BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this morning. I didn't go to work but I had to finish my timesheet. Too bad the connection didn't work so I never get to finish. Grandma, Uncle Ed and Auntie Tiana, Carly, Dad and Fian, plus the four of us went dim sum in Scarborough. We were thinking how to explain to the boys about Mom as we already told them that she's left and she's now in Heaven with Jesus. However, they will see her body during both visitation and service. It was very interesting and our solution - Statue.
Grandma was still very sad. She has been having really late lunches these days. I guess she's not sleeping well, and that's why she's getting up late having late breakfast. We tried to make Dad call her every morning to check on her. Every time when we call at lunch time and asked if she has eaten, the answers were always, "Not yet. I'm not hungry." Please pray for her. Fian described her as a losing air balloon. I know she can't see my blog but let's all keep "pumping" her back up during this super difficult time of hers. She even said she wanted to stay home and not going to both visitation and service. Poor Grandma, please stay strong and don't let us worry. Without you, there won't be Mom. Without you, there won't be us.
Gloria spent sometime talking to her in the afternoon while the boys were sleeping at home (with Cheryl). I think she needs to talk things out and share her feelings to other just to make her feel better. Fian went shopping. That's right, she went shopping on her own as she didn't have enough time to prepare her outfit for the funeral. I think she is gonna use some of Mom's clothes, hahaha. Dad and I went to church to finalize the program for service on Saturday. Thanks Rev. Wong and Auntie Shirley for your help. Rev. Wong asked if I want to say something. Being like Mom, public speaking is always a piece of cake for us but this time, I had to think twice. I'm scared this time. The last time I was nervous speaking in front of a big crowd was when I got married. But I guess I need to, maybe just a short one. So, I spent some time thinking about what to say, as I normally don't. Pray that I won't cry too much on Saturday.
Dad was invited to share in a Caring Ministry gathering in the evening. Thank to the Caring Team for preparing such a sweet video clip for us about Mom. It was really really sweet. He invited him to say a few words in the event. He didn't prepare much but he ended up speaking for almost 20mins, hahaha. I know he felt so much better afterwards. I guess the more he shares, the better he feels. Keep it up Dad - good job.
Before going out for dinner with Fian and Grandma, Gloria and I had a chance to bring the boys out for a little skate as the weather was a bit warmer. Since Jonah is too young, we watched them skate from the side. Mom is never sporty and we never got a chance to do things like that. Jake and Jonah are more lucky, thank God! It was such a nice scene.
When I was trying to buckle Jake back to the car seat, he said, "I miss Mah Mah." all of a sudden. I couldn't help and started crying. I said, "Me too." and I'm not sure if he saw my tears, he responded, "She's in my heart, Daddy.". Then, he goes, "I'm in your heart right?". I said, "Yes, you are and so is Mah Mah.". I'm not sure if he 100% understand everything but thank you Jake - you are the sweetest!!! It means a lot to me my boy.
Dinner was great. Grandma loved Kelsey's ribs and we enjoyed our half price Thursday's wings. I shared my drafted thank you points with Fian at night and asked if she wants to say something. She said if she is to say something, she would probably say something on Mom's behalf - like if she's still around, "Don't be sad you guys. I'm fine. But I guess I understand cuz' you guys can't see me but I can.". Fian is right, Mom will probably say that in her typical sweet, calm, presentable smile.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted...Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven..." (Matthew 5:4, 12)
Faith is powerful and believe is unlimited... i am sure you all can hold together tighter and tighter.. bless you all.
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